Posted on by fabulouscancerwarrior · 1 Comment

Going Through Cancer Treatments My Way

Now that you’ve read my story about my diagnosis and my surgeries, I’d like to share with you how I dealt with the multiple treatments I had to undergo and still am undergoing.  I know, it seems like this will be a boring read but I’m going to try to make it humorous and informative.  I hope that the tips that I’m going to share with you are useful because I know that you want to be fab like me!

Let’s start with Radiation Therapy.  If your doc says that you need to undergo radiation, believe me it’s a walk in the park.  In my case, I had to have 4 separate sessions of treatments, a 25 treatment session for my chest,  a 5 session treatment for my femur (where they fried my eggs for good measure), a 5 treatment session for my spine and rib and another 5 session treatment for my spine.  The only real side-effect was a little fatigue and sensitivity at the site.  I strongly suggest that if you undergo radiation treatment, apply pure Aloe Vera to the site about 4 times a day.  Not immediately before treatment of course but after treatment for the duration of your session and for a few weeks after your last treatment.  You’ll thank me for it.  If you don’t, you’ll likely suffer from burns and itching.  I forgot to do it for my last session, and it looked like I had a square sunburn on my back!  And it was incredibly itchy!

That’s all the advice I have on Radiation Therapy.  Now on to the dreaded Chemotherapy.  I’ve been on about 5 different kinds of chemotherapy, one experimental treatment and 3 different kinds of hormone suppressant therapies, so name the side-effect and I’ve probably experienced it.

Before I was scheduled for my first chemotherapy treatment, I wanted to be prepared for the side-effects, so I made sure to be the strongest me I could be.  I of course ate well, exercised and made sure I did everything that I could to be strong.  Fortunately, I didn’t suffer the nausea that a lot of patients do but my appetite wasn’t particularly good so I ate a lot of soups (especially bean soups so that I could benefit from fiber and protein).  I did however gets bouts of diarrhea (yay me!) but those didn’t last very long thank goodness.

After I was done with my last radiation treatment my kids, my husband, my sister and myself had tattoos done of the pink ribbon.  My daughter and I got matching ones, my husband got a Mustang with a pink ribbon, my son got a pink ribbon wrapped around a green fleur-de-lis and my sister got praying hands with the ribbon wrapped around them. I went first because I knew that I wouldn’t feel much pain that way BT wouldn’t be afraid to go. Well he cried like a baby of course!  Poor bastard!

BT trying to hide his tears
BT’s tat
My tat on my ankle

 

Renee’s Tat
Eric’s tat

 

Copy of tattoo 014
family tattoos

 

After the chemotherapy was over and done with (the first time) I took part in an experimental treatment that was specific to patients with hormone positive breast cancer.  This type of cancer can increase your risk of developing osteoporosis later on and since my mother and 2 sisters suffer from this, I said Hell Ya to the  treatment. Because it was a study and I was randomized in the group that took Zometa, I was asked by the study nurse to keep records of my side-effects. Welllll….. My niece Tara and I thought it would be really funny to include bizarre effects like uncontrollable cursing, anal leakage and general inappropriate behavior!  The poor nurse didn’t know what to think.  Of course I had to tell the truth (boring!!).  But we had a great time thinking that shit up!  The only real side-effect I had was aching joints.  Funny enough, that treatment is now protocol for cancer patients whose cancer has metastasised in their bones like me.  It seems to strengthen the bones so that the cancer has a harder time eating away at them.  I’m now on that treatment again (as well as chemo).

And now for everyone’s favourite side-effect – Hair Loss. Before I started treatment,  I visited a Wig shop to order my new hair.  I wanted to make sure to order the wig in the same style and colour as my hair.  At the time I had long curly and thick hair so I wanted the same in my wig.  The stylist suggested a wig that was half human hair and half acrylic because the fully human hair wigs are harder to maintain, since you have to blow dry it and style it.  You may not have the energy to do that when you’re feeling run-down.  By the time I had lost my hair, my wig was in so the transition was pretty easy.   The only problem with the long wig is that it tangles really easily when it rubs against clothing.  It drove me nuts so I went to see my regular stylist to have it cut into a cute bob and I absolutely loved it!

daniela and me
Sporting an awesome wig!

Once my hair started to grow a little, I used a hair system called Nioxin that includes a shampoo, conditionner and hair and scalp treatment.  I feel that it helped my hair grow back quicker and thicker. Everyone had told me that my hair would grow back curly but my hair was curly before the cancer so…… It grew back straight and thinner (or normal since I had abnormally thick hair).  What a change for me!  But it was fun getting used to it.  I grew it into a bob like my wig.  To keep it relatively healthy, I didn’t wash it more than every 3 days and limited the amount of products I used.  I stayed away from products that contained alcohol and never brushed it when it was wet.  I also didn’t blow-dry it often and only used a flat iron on it when it got longer.  The less stress on your hair the better.

The second time I lost my hair was about 3 years ago when I had to undergo another type of chemo that made me loose my hair.  Thank goodness I hadn’t gotten rid of my wig!  I wasn’t on that treatment for very long so my hair grew back quickly but it was even thinner and straighter ! WTF???  The doc switched my chemo because that particular one had no effect on my liver tumour and the next treatment didn’t make me loose hair.  Eventually, that chemo stopped working so another treatment was introduced so I lost my hair for the third time!!!  This time however, I didn’t loose it all.  I kinda had a Donald Trump thing going so I was able to buy a hair system that is fairly new on the market called Evolve Hair System.  It attaches to your existing hair with tiny clips and stays on no matter what! You get it tightened about once a month and that’s it!  I worked great for me.  Looked totally natural and the shop made sure that the system matched my hair exactly!  I just got it removed a few weeks ago because I’ve switched chemo again and this one doesn’t affect your hair. My hair has now grown back but it’s thin and fine like baby hair. Oh well! Better than no hair at all.

What they don’t tell you about some chemotherapy is that you loose ALL your body hair (yup all of it), your eyebrows, your eyelashes and for some, your nails (ouch).  As for loosing your body hair, that’s kind of a bonus because shaving, waxing and plucking are totally unnecessary, however….. It may just be me, but loosing all, and I mean all pubic hair, made me pee all over my legs!  Does the hair funnel the pee in a straight stream??? Who the fuck knows?  Please message me if the same thing happened to you otherwise….. I’m just a freak I guess!

You don’t realise the value of eyebrows until you loose them.  The no-eyebrow thing really changes your look and it keeps the sweat from dripping into your eyes!  The challenge is NOT to look like some old lady with crooked, mismatched eyebrows or Woopie (have you noticed that she has no eyebrows?).  My old aunt had mistaken her eyebrow pencil for her lip liner once.  It was quite the look!  Good thing was that the old folks at the home didn’t notice.  Instead of a pencil, I prefer to use a powder.  I feel that it gives you a more natural and may I say, youthful look .  We all loose some eyebrow hair as we get older (thanks menopause) and we need to fill them in, so the powder is a great technique for that (unless you’re a pro, penciled-in brows may look too severe or too thin).  Your eyebrows frame your face and gives a nice definition to your eyes.  If you have no eyebrows at all, or you’re like Bobby Tee and “accidently” shave them off, you can buy a kit that has powder, brushes AND stencils!  I use NYX Eyebrow Kit With Stencils. It has 4 eyebrow powders, 2 brushes and 3 different size stencils.  You just hold the stencil down with one hand and fill it in with the brush provided with the other hand.  Just make sure to align the two brows evenly because you don’t want one brow to be higher than the other. You can also use more than one colour of powder to get a more natural look.  Thick brows are all the rage now so eyebrow kits are easy to find.

eyebrows
Bobby Tee and his “accident”

For me the worst part about the hairless cat look, was loosing my eyelashes.  You would think that you could just stick on fake lashes and voila!  But no! You need eyelashes to stick on the fake lashes.  You can’t just stick them on your eyelids.  What I hadn’t realised is that eyelashes keep the dust from getting into your eyes.  Even the tiniest speck of dust will find its way into your eyes!  My eyes cried 24/7 even with sunglasses on!  So I had no lashes AND red and teary eyes!  Not a great look!  So I came to terms with the no lash look and just applied brown eyeliner to distract from the fact that I had no lashes (black would look too severe).  Some sites recommend applying dots at the base of your eyelid (where you would apply eyeliner) to mimic lashes but I didn’t think it looked good on me (it just looked like dots and not lashes).  Being pro-active, I thought that there must be something out there that will help them grow back.  I tried several lash serums and the only one that truly worked for me and made my lashes longer than they were even before the chemo is the StimuLashFusion lash enhancer. I also use their mascara and I swear by it.  Another product that I’ve been using on my lashes for a long time is the Dior lash primer.  You apply it before you apply your mascara and it conditions your lashes and makes them look much thicker. I tried other brands but most of them just made the mascara clumpy.  Once my lashes began to grow, I was able to use false lashes but I had to find glue that was latex free since I’m allergic.  The only one I found is made by Revlon and I like the little application brush.  I tried lash extensions but there must have been latex in the glue because the reaction I got was horrible! I had them taken off the next day and, thank goodness, the girl gave me my money back.  Never again!! And remember, don’t use mascara every day because you really need to be gentle with your lashes and taking off mascara can pull and tug at them.  You also need a really good eye makeup remover that will make it easy to take off your mascara.  I find that Marcelle makes a good one that is gentle on the eyes.

Another side-effect that a few patients suffer from is the loss of finger and toe nails.  I lost a few which was quite painful but thankfully it was summertime so I wore sandals all the time so that nothing touched my toes.  I kept my fingernails short and didn’t use any polish on them so that my nails could “breathe” and not be subjected to harmful chemicals.  I resorted to using Band-Aids on my fingers and toes so that I wouldn’t hit them by accident and to prevent them from ripping off completely.  They grew back to normal after I was done that first session and it hasn’t happened with the other treatments.

So that’s about all I have for the whole hair issue.  Next time we’ll discuss skin care because caring for chemo skin is a science!

 

 

Posted on by fabulouscancerwarrior

The Weird Thing About Surgeries Is…. Well so much

Let’s lighten things up a little by talking about how bizarre surgeries can be.  In my case, there seems to be a funny story for each one.  Okay, granted my first two, the lumpectomy and mastectomy, were pretty standard day surgeries but the fact that I’m a lightweight when it comes to pain medications made my post surgeries pretty funny.

In the years of B.C. (before cancer) I was that annoying woman who never took any from of drugs. No aspirin, no Tylenol, no alcohol, nothing.  If I had a headache, a cup of coffee would do the trick.  So, when I had the lumpectomy, I didn’t want to take any pain meds because I was afraid of my reaction, but my daughter Renee insisted I take at least one pill in case I woke up in the middle of night “screaming that my arm feels like it’s falling off.”  I have no idea why she thought that, but to reassure her I took one.  Holy shit! I felt sick to my stomach, dizzy and faint! So much for that bright idea Renee!  Turns out I’m sensitive to codeine so a few weeks later after the mastectomy the doc gave me meds without codeine and suddenly everything around me seemed really funny!  My son had given me a boxed set of I Love Lucy episodes and let me tell you!  Watching her eat those chocolates on the assembly line when you’re stoned on pain meds is REALLY funny!  I cried laughing every time I sat to watch an episode.  BT was a little concerned that I had truly lost it!  Of course he called Eric for him to research the meds and he assured BT that I was fine.  I cried laughing at a Delisio commercial! I still laugh whenever I see it!  Not to mention that my natural inappropriateness got a little out of hand but I don’t think I should get into that because Eric may stop talking to me.

So, one year after my last radiation treatment (2010), I had my reconstruction surgery.  Now just shopping for a doctor that could do the procedure was an adventure.  Because the radiation had been very thorough, implants were not an option for me because my skin would not stretch to accommodate the implant.  Lucky for me my niece’s husband in Toronto works in the medical field so he asked around to see who was the best boob surgeon in the city (he asked nurses because they know what’s up).  He came up with a list of three surgeons.  The first one talked about implants because he thought that I was too thin for a tram flat (that’s when they take flesh from your tummy and make it into boobs) without reducing the size of my healthy breast.  I wanted to get rid of the other breast anyway so I told him that I was fine with going with the small breasts option.  He didn’t think that he could find enough tummy fat to do both breasts.  So on to the next doc.  She said that there was a new tram flap procedure that I could get but their hospital didn’t really have the staff to do it (a micro-surgeon is needed for this surgery).  Now I was down to the last recommended doctor at Scarborough General.  He was very enthusiastic about performing the new procedure, said that he could totally do it with his team of 5 surgeons.  He gave me a video of the procedure to watch with BT. Ya right! Like he could watch that!  It’s called a super-charged tram flap! I’m not making this up! Dr Sproule has a video of it on YouTube.

February 2010 I’m totally pumped to get my new boobs.  It was a 11 hour surgery (they thought it would be 9), performed by 5 doctors.  They took the flesh from my tummy to make my left breast and, believe it or not, a lower ab muscle to make my right (Dr Sproule kinda thought about using that muscle the spot). They slide the flesh under the skin of the torso and attach all the blood vessels to the chest.  It’s much more complicated than that so YouTube it if you want. Well of course I slept through the whole thing but poor BT and Eric waited all day for me to come out of recovery.  The recovery was fine even though I couldn’t get out of the bed or move really.  The night they transferred me out of recovery, I got so freeken sick, they thought I had C Difficile so I was transferred into isolation. Bonus! My own room!  I didn’t have C Dif but stayed in the hospital for a week and lost 9 kg.  The doc comes by to take a look at his work and was quite satisfied but I look down and… what the fuck????  My belly button is now on my left boob!  He says “oh it’s ok  we’ll get that fixed at your next surgery.” What?  There’s going to be a next surgery?  I needed more work done to tweak my new breasts.  AND, I had no belly button!  Out of the hospital I go and do my recuperation at my wonderful niece’s house.  I had told her she would have to change my diapers but for some reason she outright refused and instead said she’d just put a kitty litter box in my room!  What a bitch right?  Her amazing kids drew dozens of pictures for me and pasted them on the wall of “my” room.  Well, you know how I react to pain meds, Tara and I critiqued their work for a few hours until I had to throw her out of my room because we were laughing way too much!  I may have split a few stitches.

Surgery #2 (or 4 if you count the lumpectomy and mastectomy) was, thank goodness, day surgery so I was back at Tara’s for the evening.  We head to Toronto the day before my “little procedure” to remove the belly button from my breast and put one on my tummy.  I’m getting ready to take the disinfecting shower you’re supposed to take the day before and the morning of the surgery and…. I spring a leak! I had on these clear bandages that they use to protect the site and I swear I had a fountain of pink liquid spurting out of my breast!  Thank goodness I wasn’t on carpeting!  I’m buck naked (ewwwww) yelling “Help! I sprung a leak!”  BT and Tara were a floor above me and of course BT is freeking out thinking it’s blood and Tara come sauntering down the stairs with her little basket of first aid supplies looking like the Easter Bunny carrying treats.  The fountain eventually becomes a slow leak and we were able to get it under control.  The liquid was just normal secretion from the surgery site.  We had a good laugh with that one.

Surgery # 3 (or 5).  I have my belly button free boobs and my navel in the right place but somehow it had closed.  Now I needed nipples and a realignment of my navel.  By this time, I’m pretty tired of being put to sleep (get it??? “tired of being put to sleep” I crack me up!), so I asked the surgeon if it would be possible to have local anesthetic for the procedure.  He asks if I’m sure and Hell Ya I’m sure!  So here we go! I’m thinking I’ll be able to listen to them discuss the surgery and it’ll be Way Cool.  Nope! Not cool!  I could hear the instruments and feel the tugging at my chest and my belly!  AND I swear I heard them discussing how a doctor had been fired because he was caught having sex in the stairwell!  WTF? Once I came out of it a little, the doctor asked me if I had hallucinated while he was operating.  I told him about the conversation that I thought I had heard and he laughed real hard! For some reason I also asked him when I could drive the Zamboni!  What the hell?  In the recovery room the nurse told me that the meds they give you when you have this kind of procedure are worse than the general anesthetic and not to go up and down stairs by myself because I could pass out without warning or get near a hot stove.  Note To Self, Never have a procedure awake when you can have a good nap.

I think there may have been another surgery in the reconstruction process but I can’t remember them all.  The final product is quite acceptable but I have a wicked scar on my abdomen that no one sees anyway unless I wear my string bikini, but that’s only on special occasions.

By 2012, I’m back to my fabulous self.  My scars have healed, I’m working out like a mad woman and my hair is the style I wanted (a cute little 1920’s bob) and my daughter had just gotten married.  As you already know, the cancer metastasised in my femur and I needed more surgery to insert a rod in my leg.  “Okay so it’s just day surgery right doc?” Nope, 5 days in the hospital.  Shit! I. Hate. Hospitals!!!! They’re full of germy germs!!! My kids and their cousin Krista go to my hospital room while I’m in surgery and disinfect the shit out of it!!!  Thanks guys.  The orthopedic surgeon inserts a big ass pin in my leg and attachec it to my hip bone and my knee through the bone that was almost non existant by then.  The only thing that kept me from breaking my femur was that my leg muscles protected it (thank you 3 day a week spin class and weight training).  It could have shattered and that would have been really hard to repair.

So I have the surgery and the pain is really quite mild so no painkillers for me, thank you very much!  I was able to get out of bed the same day as the surgery with the help of a walker and the nurse.  Things are really good!  Until I decide to go to the bathroom by myself with the walker.  As I’m getting out of the bathroom, I pass out cold on the floor.  My room mate calls the nurse and all I can think of is how the hell are they going to scrape me off the floor with this peg leg of mine and thank goodness I had time to pull up my underwear.    Now they needed to find out why I passed out.  I needed blood.  Sounds easy but….I have lymphedema in my left arm from the mastectomy so they can’t give me the intravenous in there and my right arm’s veins are tiny and burned from the chemo.  Five nurses tried to get the stupid needle in.  Ten tries later and with my room mate sending prayers to whatever saint guards veins and such, and they get it in…. my foot! Ouch!

It only took a few days for me to go from a walker to crutches and then to a cane (I once challenged an old man in the mall to a race but his wife wouldn’t let him. I think she thought I was coming on to him).  My crutches of course looked fabulous because my kids had taped over them with pink zebra stripped duct tape and pasted rhinestones on them! I went to a wedding so they changed the duct tape to black and white zebra stripes to go with formal wear of course. I needed more radiation after my surgery but  I rocked those crutches at the Cancer Center!  Six weeks after I was discharged,  I was able (with the doctor’s ok) to go back to spin class.  I still feel pain in my hip once in while but nothing major considering there are tumors in both my hips now.  I’m hoping that the strength training and the chemo keeps the tumors in check.

Fingers crossed, these are my last surgeries.  If I do need more I’m sure there will be strange and hopefully, funny stories to go along with them.

My next posts will cover chemotherapy and how to deal with the side-effects (like uncontrollable cursing and anal leakage. Just kidding! maybe)

 

Posted on by fabulouscancerwarrior

Siblings and Friends – The Support Team

My last post introduced you to my wonderful children.  Now I want to introduce you to my siblings and my friends.  My childhood was “normal” for the 60’s I guess, with my mom as the homemaker and my dad as the breadwinner.  With 5 siblings before me I was somewhat spoiled but mostly just a part of the whole that made up our family (I know I said that I am the youngest of 7, but my sister Paulette died in a car accident when I was 6 months old so I never knew her).  We had our share of laughter and great sadness when we lost Paulette at 18 and then Nicole at 33.  I don’t know how my parents soldiered on after both of these loses but they did, enabling the rest of their children to lead normal and healthy lives.  I can’t even begin to describe what great parents they were.  Unfortunately they have passed on a while ago but their lessons of kindness and generosity has always stayed with us.

My sisters and my brother have been by my side throughout my journey.  Always only a phone call away.  It took a lot for me to ask for help, being that I’m somewhat of a control freak but when I did, they were there with bells on.  They were my shoulders to cry on at times and often the butt of my jokes (kidnapping Ghislaine’s pink crocks and asking for ransom comes to mind). They made me laugh, cooked for me and often chauffeured me when I needed them.  They were definitely a great support for me and my family when we needed them.  Their generosity, kindness and patience mean the world to me and I know that they will always be there to support my husband and my kids later on.  BT’s family have also been very supportive during the difficult times, offering their love and support to their brother and to myself is very appreciated.

 

shower
Michelle, myself and Ghislaine at Renee’s tea party baby shower

 

Not only am I lucky enough to have great siblings, I also have great friends. Friends that we’ve had and cherished for a long time and new friends that we met along the way have been so kind and generous to our family.  From my Montreal Canadians co-fans who text me during games to our weird and quirky friends who make me die laughing at their very inappropriate snap chats (you know who you are) we are truly lucky to have them in our lives.  BT’s long list of good friends (or boyfriends as I call them), are always there for him and his feelings.

Probably the most surprising friendship that we’ve made is the one we have with my son-in-law’s quirky Italian family.  They have embraced us fully into their famiglia as soon as our kids were engaged and we’ve been great friends ever since.  When I was recuperating from surgeries, Irene was quick to make me soup, sauce and of course pasta making sure that I was fed and that BT ate.  They were there when I received bad news and there to celebrate with us when we got good news.  We now share grandchildren so we are now closer than ever.  We celebrate everything together – Christmas, birthdays (one every week I think), Easter and every other occasion we can think of.  We even spent two weeks together in Italy getting to know the rest of the famiglia.  We had the best time visiting Rome where Silvano was born and Molise where Irene is from.  It would seem that Silvano was such a brat when he spent time in Molise with his family that when an old lady saw us, she spotted him and made the sign of the cross implying that the devil was back!  I guess that comes from the fact that he locked an old one-eyed lady in a basement because he thought she was a witch! True story, you can’t make up that shit!  He terrorised that village I am told (he slept with an egg and a hammer and when a little girl tried to take his hammer, he hit her over the head with it and she had to be sent to the hospital).  Oh the stories we heard!

 

bt3
Filippo and BT’s idea of give Daniela her bottle

 

italy
Irene, myself and Renee in Rome at Nonno’s

 

Family and friendships that’s what it’s all about! I hate to sound cliché but that’s what helps you through the bad times and makes you appreciate the good times.

Well, other than my Silvano stories, this page wasn’t very funny.  Sorry about that! I promise the next ones are pretty funny.  We’ll be talking about my numerous surgeries and I swear there’s a funny story for each.  Like when I woke up from my first reconstructive surgery and notices that my belly button was now on my breast!  Good times!

 

 

Posted on by fabulouscancerwarrior

My Family – the foot soldiers in my journey – Renee and Eric

As I’ve already mentioned in my previous post, my two kids are the best! It’s obvious that they are smart people, my son having earned a PhD and is now a professor of psychology specialising in developmental psychology (mostly aging) and my daughter surviving Law School and becoming a very successful child advocate.

When I was first diagnosed, Renee was completing her undergraduate studies here in Sudbury and Eric was in grad school in Thunderbay 12 hours away.  Renee really was my rock!  She came with me when I had my head shaved, came with us to my doctors’ appointments, learned to cook so that she could help out (and Lord knows BT doesn’t know the first thing about cooking except of course for his famous pickled eggs).  She kept me grounded and stopped me from feeling sorry for myself.  She studied in my room when I was resting and kept me laughing with her strange antics.  We had our girls date nights when we would stay in my room, eat popcorn and watch chick flicks (no boys allowed).  She also helped me style my wig, usually using her brother’s head, and would comment on my clothes and makeup making sure I didn’t go out the door looking like garbage.

I know this journey was very difficult for her but what a trooper she was! Knowing that she couldn’t confide in BT because of all his feelings, she did so with her close cousins Krista and Tara and of course her bro.  It was about 2 years into our journey when she met her husband, and his fabulous Italian family (we’ll get into his wonderful family when I talk about my friends).   He was her rock when she needed him.  He stayed by her side and his weirdness and general goofiness made us all laugh!  He “closed the deal” and convinced her to marry him (did I tell you what a great salesman he is).  Again, Silvano, don’t let this go to your head, you know part of her agreeing to marry you has to do with your Ma’s cooking! He not only helped Renee but, don’t tell him this, he helped BT and myself as well!  I could tell you funny and weird stories about him but that would seriously take way to much time (maybe my next blog will be titled Quirky Son-in-laws And How to Deal With Them).

renee and D
My beautiful girls and yes I made her jacket so that she can wear Daniela

 

Two years into their marriage, they announced that they were expecting our grandchild.  What a feeling! That I would actually get to meet my grandchild.  I can’t even describe to you how I felt, even though all of you grandparents out there know what a joy these little beings are for us. It was even more so for myself because I didn’t think I would be around long enough to meet them.  My beautiful Daniela was born on Easter Sunday 2015 (Renee was pissed that she missed brunch) and I had the awesome privilege of being there when she came into this world.  She stole my heart from the first minute I saw her and she has given me even more reasons to fight!  When she was one, we got the news that Renee was expecting again!  Holy shit! how was I going to find room in my heart for another little bundle of joy?  But our little Filippo found a way to make room in my heart!  I can’t even begin to thank my daughter and her husband for this wonderful, fulfilling experience of complete love and beauty that are grandchildren.

 

Daniela
My beautiful princess Daniela

 

 

easter pic

 

Now for my wonderful, handsome and somewhat nerdy son Eric.  You know Leonard from the TV show Big Bang Theory? Well that’s him, the cool, smart nerd but with style!  His battle in this story that is my not-so-fabulous journey is a little different from that of his sister because he was so far away during the first years of my battle.  I feel that it was even more difficult for him because he couldn’t physically be there for us but believe me, he was always there for us. His logical and analytical way of dealing with situations helped his emotional dad cope.  He researched my medications, my treatments and came with to doctors’ appointments when he was in town so that he could ask questions that BT and I would forget to ask.  Through it all he was able to juggle his studies and support our family with not only his solid logic but also with his sense of humour.  When he moved to Waterloo (about 100km from Toronto) he was there to support BT when I had my surgeries and put up with my bizarre reactions to medications (you know what I’m talking about Eric).  As much as Renee was my rock, Eric was BT’s.  Dealing with BT’s feelings is a full time job, and he knew how to handle it.  It helps that he’s a doctor of psychology specialising in gerontology let me tell you!  He had to use all of his skills on us that’s for sure.  Poor bastard!

The day of his convocation was the proudest day of our lives! Dr. Eric Theriault!! Yup! That’s my boy!  The only “problem” was that his doctorate took him even further away from us to Manitoba.  It was worth it though because that is where he met the love of his life Tierra.  She is a generous and loving soul that we all fell in love with the first time we met.  She passed the Renee test which says a lot! She is a perfect fit for him because she doesn’t take him too seriously (did I tell you he has a bit of a stick up his butt at times?).  Despite all of his weirdness, she loves him completely.  What more can a mother ask for? Well more grandchildren I guess.  They are set to be married in October and I’m totally pumped!

 

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My proud family

 

Now that you’ve met my family you can understand why, despite everything, I am truly lucky.  I didn’t mean to brag but come on! I have reason to.  I also want to take this time to reinforce my belief that your health doesn’t only belong to you, it belongs to your family and your friends. So for those of you who think that your bad habits, like smoking, eating crap and living a sedentary life is only your business, you cannot be more wrong.  When you are sick, you are not the only one suffering.  Everyone who cares about you is also suffering.

Next time I’ll introduce you to my friends who have also made my journey a little easier.

 

 

 

Posted on by fabulouscancerwarrior

My Family – the foot soldiers in my journey – Bobby-Tee

So far, I’ve shared with you some of the methods I used to survive but I absolutely have to include my family and friends in my story of survival.  First let’s talk about my husband known to all as Bobby Tee.  He is quirky, weird, funny, super-sensitive and uber-loving.  And as my daughter likes to say, he just has so many feelings!

When I was first diagnosed, he was absolutely devastated of course.  For him to see me suffer was probably the hardest thing for him to go through but through it all, he was by my side.  I have to mention here that my two children supported him so that he could be strong otherwise I think he would have just been a big puddle of feelings! He was still working at the time and his co-workers and owners were very sympathetic and gave him whatever time off he needed to help me.  He was such a trooper, the first time around.  He was strong and supportive when I had my first round of surgeries and I’m confident that when he saw the physical changes in me like the loss of my breast, the loss of hair and every other change in me, he really didn’t care.  He still thought of me as beautiful and treated me as such.  What a moral booster he is!!   Until I got the news that the cancer had metastasised in my femur and in my spine.

This is where the funny BT stories begin (well there’s a million of them really, but we’ll stick to a few). Poor Bobby Tee had just retired a few months before, our daughter had gotten married and we were planning an amazing retirement travelling to see the world.  All that changed in the day we found out the cancer had returned.  He was, of course supportive and helpful but he seemed to be a little more withdrawn and serious.  I guess it kind of hit him that this disease could really kill me.  Anyway… He we were dining out with old friends (I was sporting a fabulous looking cane) and chatting when all of a sudden I notice BT kind of listing sideways in his chair and I started screaming “he’s having a stroke call 911!!”  He wasn’t of course, he had just passed out twice in a row. EMT’s bring him to the hospital and my friends were stuck with the dinner bill.  I call my ever helpful sister and she meets me at the hospital.  They test him for a stroke, a heart attack and everything else (thank you Canadian Health Care system).  He seemed fine and everything seemed to be going well.  We thought a change in scenery would help so we head out to Toronto to visit with my niece Tara (my super-duper bff) and her family.  As BT’s helping to prepare muscles, his muscles give out and he passes out again! What the Fuck??? My niece catches him before he hits the floor and  I bitch slap him until he comes around! Here we go! I can’t drive the 4 hours back home with my stupid peg leg.  Thankfully my son was about an hour away at university so he drove us back.  His family doc got him to see both a psychiatrist who prescribed anti-depressants and a psychologist that helped council him.

A few months into this, I catch him online looking at….. puppies (get your mind out of the gutter).  I’m like “what he hell are looking at puppies for? We already have a dog!”  Okay so he’s 18 years old, blind, deaf and arthritic (I had to carry him around on a pillow), but still…. His reasoning was that our old poodle Shelby will die soon and we’d be devastated and a new puppy will help ease the blow.  So there we go! The whole family visits the puppy and of course we all fall in love with him and bring him home a few weeks later.  We name him Nelson after Nelson Mandela because he was also a remarquable survivor (he hadn’t passed away yet). The little shit head was so freeken hard to house train that I wanted to give him away but eventually (like after 6 months of cleaning pee) he became a loving and cuddly little dog.  We had to put the old guy down after he had gotten sick and the new guy, Nelson, eagerly took his place.  My daughter is convinced that Nelson had something to do with the Shelby’s death because he was quite happy being the only dog in the house.

Nelson

Okay well that story isn’t so funny after all but here’s a good one. It’s the middle of summer and the BT decides to take a walk with Nelson to the local pharmacy about one kilometer away.  It’s about 6pm and he still had a history of passing out.  By 7:30, no BT.  By 8:30, I start to get worried!  What if he’s passed out in a ditch somewhere!  What if some hooligans saw him with a pharmacy bag with drugs in it and murdered him!!  What if….. I try his cell phone and of course he left it behind.  I call my daughter to see if she heard from him.  I call the friends and acquaintances that live along the way and nothing.   One of them happens to be a retired police officer so he, his wife and his trusty dog head out to look for him (after I drove through the neighborhood myself of course).  They’re looking in the ditches along the way and some guy comes up behind them and asked what they were looking for.  “YOU, you ass-hat!!”  Yup! good old BT met someone with a dog and decided to stop for a beer!  For fucking 3 hours!  The guy suggested he call his wife to tell her (me) where he was but HE DIDN’T KNOW MY PHONE NUMBER!! Can you believe? My phone number is engraved on the dog’s tag! He was in so much shit!! I now track his phone!

About 6 months after the Passing Out In Toronto Incident, we decide to go visit BT’s brother in Arizona for a couple of weeks.  He hadn’t passed out in a few months, the doc said the whole thing was caused by stress and depression and he was medicated.  We’re waiting to get processed by immigration before boarding and there he goes again! Passed out on a bench.  Some by-stander calls 911 and not only do EMT’s show up, but the police, security and the fire department!  Apparently, that’s protocol in an airport.  I slap him around a bit, shove a pill in his mouth and we convince the emergency personnel and security that he’s fine.  We finally board the plane and he passes out before take-off! I shove a pill in his mouth and I figure, I’ll wake him up before we land.  That’s the last time he passed out.  Sheesh!!! poor bastard!  The last thing he wants is to make me worry and he’s now 4 years passed-out free.  Congrats Babe!

bobby-tee nelson

Next time you’ll meet my fabulous children.  Okay I know that all parents think their kids are fabulous (except maybe Paul Bernardo”s mom), but mine really are!  Come on! A Doctor of Psychology and a Lawyer advocating for abused and neglected children?  We could not be prouder!  Two very accomplished adults who chose absolutely incredible life-partners (don’t let that go to your head Silvano) !  I know that we raised them to be the people they are today, but they also helped me become the fabulous woman that I am today!

Stay tuned !

Posted on by fabulouscancerwarrior

My Not So Fabulous Journey (part deux)

Okay so I feel that I need to apologize for my over-zealous stance on diet.  I do however mean what I said about taking control of what you eat and trying your best to only eat what I consider REAL food and not processed shit.  I’m passionate about this because I just want you to be strong and a good, clean diet is definitely an important way to achieve that.  I’ll be the first to admit that clean living will not cure your cancer (despite what a lot of so called professionals say).  I’m a true example of that.  I’ve always eaten well and lived a clean life but I still got cancer.  BUT…. a clean diet and active life-style will help you be strong enough to fight not only the cancer but the side-effects as well.  Remember, you are a warrior so you need all the tools in your arsenal to fight back!  Okay! my tirade is done.

 

Posted on by fabulouscancerwarrior

My Not So Fabulous Journey

Here we are.  It’s spring 2017 and I’ve been fighting breast cancer for almost 9 years now and have finally decided to share my story.  I know, I know there’s like a million blogs related to cancer, survival and personal anecdotes but so many people have been encouraging me to write a book about my story but let’s face it, I’m much to lazy to do that! What I hope to accomplish with this blog is to help people especially women survive their journey with a sense of humour all the while looking great like me! Ya, ya I’m vain and superficial! Whatever! Look good, feel good is my motto.  I just want to give all of my readers great tips like What to do when you loose all your body hair without looking like a hairless cat, How to draw in your eyebrows without looking like your great aunt, Managing your dry skin so that you won’t look like a scaly snake and how to respond to people offering weird unsolicited advice.  Oh and let’s not forget How to bitch slap your husband when he keeps passing out from all the stress.  I also hope to do that with a sense of humour because let’s face it, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry and ruin your really nice makeup that I hope you’ll apply following my tips.

I suppose I should start by introducing myself.  I’m Danielle and I’m of a certain age.  I’ve been married to the most supportive and amazing husband for 37 years and I’m the mother of a very smart(ass) son who is a psychology professor with a PhD and a very beautiful and funny daughter who is a lawyer with the Children’s’ Aid Society and the mother of my two amazing grandchildren.  I’m from a fairly big French Canadian family so I get a lot of support from them as well.  I’m a self-confessed fashionista and am obsessed with skin care, makeup, fashion and fitness.  I was a high-school teacher specializing in social sciences and absolutely loved my job and the kids.  It broke my heart to take early retirement but I couldn’t give the kids 100% anymore so I decided to leave.

By the way, if you think you’re not at risk for cancer YOU ARE!  I’m a vegetarian (OK I eat organic chicken now), I don’t smoke, I don’t drink alcohol, I exercise like a fanatic, drink the recommended amount of water, breastfed my 2 kids, was in my 40s and no one in my family has ever had cancer (and I’m the youngest of 7). So I was definitely not at risk according to all the studies.

I don’t want to bore you with when and how I was diagnosed. Suffice it to say it was 9 years ago and I endured a lumpectomy, mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, hormone supressing therapies followed by a series of reconstructive surgeries. Unfortunately, just when I thought I had it beat, the cancer metastasised in my femur and my spine 5 years later and so I needed surgery to insert a big-ass pin in my femur and more chemotherapy and radiation. Holy shit! So???? like when can I go back to spin class doc? His answer was 6 weeks. Ok then, I’ve got this!  Well not quite. The following year the stupid cancer was back in my liver!! WTF??? I don’t drink any alcohol so why my liver? Who the fuck knows! So guess what? Super industrial strength estrogen suppressors injected in my butt and more chemotherapy.  Lets try 3 different kinds of chemo and see if that works. Which brings us to today.  I still have a tumour in my liver, small ones in my lungs (did I mention that I’m a non-smoker) and more in my spine.  I’ve recently had radiation to treat my spine and some ribs because those tend to crack once in a while.  And I’m still on chemotherapy. You would think I would be depressed about that shit but you know what? I’m really not! And it’s not because I’m religious or spiritual because I’m definitely not.  I just think that as long as I live my life to the fullest and have left behind great memories for the people I’ve come into contact with,  my job here is done. There is no room for negativity in my life now so for all the arseholes who project negativity? Peace out! There’s only room for positive people on the Danielle Train.

Here we go!

Let’s start with Attitude.  Everyone knows a good attitude positively impacts your healing but sometimes (ok so most of the time) it’s freaking hard to have a positive attitude when your hair falls out, your eyebrows and eyelashes have somehow disappeared and you feel like you’ve been run over by a freight train! I think that what helped me the most in keeping a positive attitude was my family, especially my husband and my two kids.  I looked at them and saw that I have so much love in my life it’s almost unfair to other people.  My job as a parent was and is make sure my children become independent, good, kind and giving people.  That they themselves become good and loving parents to their children so that my legacy lives on.  I want them to pass on to their kids the same lessons that I gave them regarding work ethic, kindness, tolerance, charity and love.  In turn, I hope that my grandchildren will learn these same lessons and pass it on to their children.  That,  my friends is my idea of eternal life.  And that applies to everyone that I come into contact with, from my students to my coworkers and my friends and acquaintances.  I hope that I have touched others positively and that they will have fond memories of my life and my Positive Attitude.  So….. If you have not led an exemplary life, and who has really? now is perhaps the time for you to work on that.  Give whatever you can to a cause you hold close to your heart.  Be kind.  You’ll be surprised at how good it feels.  (I spent my T.V. time crocheting hats for the homeless with yarn I had leftover from various projects and yarn that had been given to me.) Get involved in your community.  I know you might feel like crap right now and you want to focus on yourself. I get it.  But doing for others will, I guarantee you, lift your spirits.  Coming to terms with your mortality probably isn’t what you want to think about but let’s face reality here, everyone dies.  The only difference between you and the non-cancerous is that you have a time frame.  Your neighbour could get killed in a car accident tomorrow and he didn’t see it coming but you on the other hand know that your time will probably come sooner than you had planned.  Wow! that was morbid! But it has to be out there right? The elephant in cyberspace has been revealed.  WE ARE ALL MORTAL.  Let’s make the most of the time that we have left.

Dealing with the boogeyman Depression.  Who the fuck invited him to the party?  Not me that’s for sure.  Being the positive person that I am, I never thought depression would dog me but…. when the cancer came back in my femur and my spine, my positive attitude kinda took a left turn.  My amazing daughter had just gotten married to a wonderful man and my husband retired from his job as a car dealership manager.  He bought himself a cute little red Mercedes roadster and we were planning a river cruise down the Danube.  Then BAM! another cancer diagnosis.  That was enough to make me a tad bit depressed!  So…. I went to see a therapist at the Cancer Centre and she really helped me put things into perspective.  But I needed a little more help.  Of the pharmaceutical persuasion.  I’m not ashamed to admit that I needed therapy and drugs to get me back to my old positive self.  You do what you gotta do girlfriend! It helps that my son was working on his PhD in Psychology specializing in Gerontology.  Being the control freak that I am it’s surprising that I didn’t resist the help.  I’m that woman. “I can do anything! I’m wonder woman, give me more responsibilities I can take it!”  You have to give in sometimes and let someone or something else help you.

Another thing that helped me out enormously is exercising.  I know it’s not for everyone but COME ON just get moving!  I’ve always been somewhat fit, never letting that needle on the scale get out of control but when I finished my first bout with chemo, my daughter convinced me to join her at a spin class.  Even though I thought I would die, I pushed myself and pretty soon I was doing 3 hour spin for charity sessions! I got into the routine of 3 one hour spin classes a week and 3 weight training sessions a week.  I continued this for about 8 years but this past year, the high heart rate you achieve with a spin class make me nauseated so I stopped that to focus more on weight training.  I have to modify a lot of the exercises because of my spine and weak ribs but I figured if I do everything while sitting on the exercise ball, I protect my spine and work out my core as well.  As for cardio work , I bought an elliptical machine and to that about 1/2 hour a day followed by an hour of weights.  I know it seems like a lot but it keeps me relatively sane and the endorphines help my mood a great deal.  I figure if I can do all that, I can’t be that sick right?  The bonus is that I’m protecting my bones by building muscle mass.  And….. I look fabulous! (well for a 56 year old woman anyway)

Another activity that has helped me battle depression is reading.  A good book is such great escapism but if you’re not a reader I urge you to give it a try.  I much prefer that to movies, even though that helps too, because you can bring it with you to all your appointments.  Sitting in the chemo room in that chair with other patients can be depressing so a good book will take you away from that I promise you. But stay away from those depressing books that make you sad.  I like a good thriller or mystery myself because I like to try to figure out who done it.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to do in order to keep my life and my attitude positive is to cut certain people out of my life.  It seems really harsh but…. Remember the Danielle Train?  There is no room for negative arseholes to come aboard!  Someone who was very close to me somehow turned into a negative and bitter bitch! Ya I said it!  It was all “I hate this” and “I don’t like that” and blah, blah, blah, “poor me, nothing is going my way”.  WAAAAA!! And I’m supposed to listen to her whine about everything and everyone while SHE’s in good health, has money and can do whatever the fuck she wants while I’m struggling to keep it together??? I don’t think so Bitch!  Peace out!

Make yourself a Bucket list.  What have you always wanted to do or see? Now’s the time to see to it.  Make yourself a list and try really hard to cross off the items on your list.  It could be an event you always wanted to attend like a concert or a sporting event.  Of course it should be reasonably attainable.  Like I always wanted to meet my secret boyfriend Carey Price, the goaltender for the Montreal Canadians, but I settled on going to see a game.  I think I’ve attended concerts to all the artists I wanted to see (The Police, Pink, U2, Pavarotti, Andrea Bocceli) and I went to see the World Junior Hockey Championship series.  I’ve visited most countries and cities I wanted to experience but my list for travelling keeps growing.  I realise that these experiences aren’t realistic for many people so make a list that is.  You know your time is limited so do what you can to go through that list.

What I also find really helpful is having little projects to keep me busy.  Luckily, I’m a pretty good seamstress so I’ve been keeping myself challenged by taking on projects like making my daughter’s maternity clothes, making stuffed toys for my grandchildren and all of my daughter’s friends who are all breeding like bunnies.  She just has to say “Maman, I’d need a cover for the baby’s car seat” and I’m on it! Then I make some for her friends.  She also wanted a hospital gown because she was grossed out by the fact that people could have died in the one they give you at the hospital. So I made her two and some for her friends too.  I can now make sleep sacks with my eyes closed now because I must have made at least 20!  With the birth of my beautiful little granddaughter Daniela, I’ve been sewing pretty little dresses for every occasion and some just because.  Right now I’m working on a duvet cover that looks like an owl for her big girl bed.  These projects keep my mind busy and instead of thinking negative thoughts,  I try to design clothing for my babies and for myself.  I’ve designed a lot of pieces in the MRI machine!

But if you feel that sewing just isn’t for you, try knitting, crocheting, quilting, or even painting.  I’ve taken up painting for the first time since high school and even though I basically suck at it, I throw paint on a canvas and call it abstract modern art!  I’ve actually had people ask me to paint shit for them.  Go Me!  Baking is another hobby that I absolutely love but unfortunately I also like to eat so….. I only bake for special occasions.  I enjoy cooking as well and I try to make one meal a week that my husband and I have never tried just to spice things up.

Speaking of meals…. lets talk diet.  Not the Atkins kind or that Paleo crap.  You just want to eat healthy.  Eat what your biology and Mother Nature intended you to eat.  What I mean by that is try really hard to eat mostly only meals and snacks that have not been processed.  Sounds daunting and time consuming but it really isn’t.  Just try to eat only food that YOU or someone you trust had actually made.  I’m talking about Homemade Everything!  Make your own bread, your own granola, your own sauces, crackers and nothing processed like boxed cereals, processed meats…. You get the picture.  And the hardest… Avoid sugar and use maple syrup, agave, molasses etc… I know it’s really hard but you can do it! Your health depends on it.  Am I nagging?  I feel like I’m nagging. Sorry!  It’s all about taking control of your life and to me this is all part of it.