Bet you didn’t see that one coming!  The absolute touchiest of all the touchy subjects! The Big One! The subject we just assume no one will talk about except in rhetoric and in popular language.

I’ve already disclosed that I’m a “gasp” atheist and I make no apologies for my beliefs and By The Way, I’m not a monster! Imagine!  I don’t follow a Book that kinda, sorta, maybe gives me moral guidelines depending on the time in history that is.  Some of that shit that is written in there is messed up!  Men can’t cut their hair or their beards? Women must cover their hair in public? You can own slaves? You can commit adultery if it’s to have kids?  And the list goes on and on.  Being a history major, religion has always been at the forefront of  history, justifying power, theft, slavery and murder.  But times have changed (kinda) and people for the most part realize that religion is really what you make of it (mostly).  Hopefully you use it in your life to be kind, generous and sometimes even forgiving.  If an organized, political organization makes you feel better and gets you through hard times, Praise the Lord and Start A Prayer Circle.  HOWEVER , this is not how I roll so don’t try to impose it on me.

I don’t need that threat hanging over my head of eternal damnation if I don’t follow the rules of whatever religious organization.  It’s like, “If you’re good in this life, you’ll be rewarded in the next.” The ultimate capitalist ploy! How about being kind just to be kind? How about paying it forward without any expectations of being rewarded?  Some philanthropists will give to charity just to give without their names being attached to the building (but they do get a massive tax break though dammit!)

Please don’t assume that everyone who is dying gets close to God! We will all follow whatever beliefs make US feel better not what is prescribed by society.  My take, as you probably know is to leave behind a lasting legacy of kindness, laughter and crafts of course!  When I’m gone, all I want is to be remembered helping people cope (with his blog I hope), making people laugh (even though that is BT’s job obviously) and sharing life lessons!

So I think you can see on how I stand on this subject.  But seriously! Messed up shit happened in the name of religion and keeps happening!!!! Seriously someone’s gotta talk to these people! OK I’ve said my peace and I don’t think I offended anyone.  And if I did,? Suck it!

And now ladies and gentlemen, it’s BT story time!  I know that you forward to that because let’s face it you can’t make that shit up!  And I know that it basically has nothing to do with my cancer but …. let’s face it! It’s hilarious and when I’m a little down, I just think of one of the stories and I’m in a good mood!  Thanks Babe!

It’s January in Toronto and the World Junior Games are on and we have tickets to like 18 games!  As you know, we are big hockey fans so we’re determined to use all the tickets either by sharing with my nephews, friends and kids.  My daughter is like 7 months pregnant and they had bought nose bleed tickets, knowing of course that BT would not let her climb up there and that he’d for sure let her sit in our gold seats.  So off BT and Silvano go in search of the nose bleed seats and Renee and I are quite comfortable in our seats.  Well the boys stumble onto (ya I don’t know how that happens) a private box with waitresses, wine, food, tablecloths…..  The trick I guess is looking like you belong.  They are sitting very comfortably discussing the game as if they are owners (to fit in obvi) with their glasses of wine. Then some guy behind them whispers “That’s Walter Gretzky” WELL!!! That was all they needed.  BT turns around and winks at the guy kinda shushing him like he’s incognito. The waitress (a newbie) gets all flustered and says Mr. Gretzky this isn’t your box, it’s somewhere else BUT it’s OK, the owner isn’t here and I’m sure he wont mind.  WHAT THE FUCK!!!! #1 Walter Gretzky is over 80 years old and #2 BT looks nothing like him.  But Ladies and Gents, the story doesn’t end there.  Boxes are open in front and people are sitting below you.  By then, everyone thinks Mr. Gretzky’s in the house.  Canada scores!  BT gets overly excited and spills his wine on 2 lovely Canadians bellow him who were wearing white Team Canada Jerseys that the Grandmother had hand knitted!!!!!!!  The old gal spend 500 000 hours knitting and BT, Excuse me, Walter, ruins the sweaters with a glass of wine. The couple was excited that Team Canada scored and it probably makes for a good story for them to say that Walter Gretzky spilled wine on them.  I just can’t believe the shenanigans he gets himself into! You’re Welcome!

Hope you enjoyed that one!